


Love in an Elevator

by violetking



Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live RPF, US Comedians RPF
Genre: F/M, Saturday Night Live References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25134517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetking/pseuds/violetking
Summary: When Pete gets stuck in an elevator with his co-worker, they are forced to re-examine their friendship.
Relationships: Pete Davidson/Original Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	1. Wednesday, February 26, 2020, 5:17 pm

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my first reader, my super supportive and always interested friend AMD. <3
> 
> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

“Addie, I promise - if you take five minutes to set up a profile, you could have a boyfriend by tomorrow.” Mary Ellen is already downloading the app on her phone.

“Give me that!” Addie snatches her phone out of Mary Ellen’s hands, with a glare. “I told you already - I’m not looking for a boyfriend.” She tosses her phone into her bag and sits down at her desk to switch from her office shoes to her walking shoes. 

“I know, I just don’t want to see you waste your best years working away here!” Mary Ellen gestures to their office and the studio at 8H.

“And I appreciate that.” Addie adds her heels to her bag. Standing up, she continues, “But I like spending my best years here. Working away. Learning from you.” She nudges the older woman with her hip.

Addie had grown up watching _Saturday Night Live_ and it had always seemed like a larger-than-life institution from a faraway land. Once she’d decided to go the photography route, she thought her SNL fantasy would remain just that - a fantasy. Nevertheless, she found herself constantly seeking SNL out and making sure the universe (and everyone in it) knew that she was open, ready, and willing in any available capacity while she shot weddings on the weekends. Addie had taken the job at _Saturday Night Live_ because she wanted to learn from the best. 

She counted herself among the luckiest that she was here, working under a visionary of a photographer and with an incredibly talented staff. The things she’d learned in her time at 30 Rock over the last few years - about photography, about work ethic, about life - had changed her for the better.

“You’re hopeless.” Mary Ellen sighs, throwing her hands into the air. 

“If we’re being honest, I mostly just need the benefits of a boyfriend. If you know what I mean.” Addie winks, only half-joking, as she tosses her hair.

“Like I said: hopeless.” Mary Ellen rolls her eyes and shoos her protégé away. “Get home safe, please! See you tomorrow.”

Addie laughs and waves behind her as she walks down the hallway, leaving her coworkers for the night. She reaches the lobby and waits for the elevator, pulling her phone out of her bag, the “down” button having just been pushed by the only other person there.

After a moment, the elevator arrives and they both enter, Addie retreating to the back corner. 

Pete presses the “lobby” button, looks her way, and asks “What floor?”

“Oh, I’m lobby, too.” She answers, not looking up from her phone. “Thanks.”

“Cool,” He replies, giving a thumbs up she doesn’t see.

The elevator moves less than a floor when it grinds to a stop. Addie looks to the buttons that are no longer illuminated on the elevator wall, and then to Pete, though he doesn’t notice.

“What the fuck…” He’s staring at the wall, mumbling, punching at the knobs.

“Oh my God. Are we stuck?!” She starts hitting buttons, hoping any will light up.

“I just pushed **all** of those.” Pete offers.

She ignores him and picks up the built-in emergency phone. It seems to ring forever before someone answers.

“Hi, yes, my name is Adelaide and I work on the 8th floor of 30 Rock. I’m currently stuck in an elevator, between the 8th and 7th floors, and...no, well...there are two of us here…” She trails off, biting her lip.

“Okay. So how long do you expect?” She’s visibly annoyed. “Yes, we’re fine. We’ll be fine.” She actively avoids looking at Pete as she hangs up.

“The power is out, I guess? We either have to wait for the generators to kick on or for the power for the building to come back on.” She sits down in the corner of the elevator and pulls her bag onto her lap.

Pete nods. Pauses. And asks, “So, do you wanna makeout, or…?”

Addie’s head whips up to look at Pete. “Are you **joking**?! You’re joking.”

“Oh, hello, there! Thank you for acknowledging my existence.” Pete claps his hands together. “I’m Pete.” He smirks, overly pleased with himself.

Ignoring his remark, she continues, “Why would you **even** ask me that?”

“I heard you earlier, telling Mary Ellen that you needed to get banged out, and we’re probably gonna be stuck in here for a while so…” He shrugs.

Addie is staring at him, mouth agape. “Pete. Are you high right now?”

“Yeah, but I’m always high.” He concedes. “It would be weirder if I wasn’t high.”

She rolls her eyes and rubs her temples. She shakes her head and laughs. “Typical.”

“Maybe. But you were kind of screaming about it from your office.” He chuckles, standing with his hands clasped in front of him, staring straight ahead.

“Oh my GOD.” Addie sighs and tries to ignore the embarrassment that must be creeping into her cheeks. She’s back to looking at her phone.

It’s quiet for a moment.

“Or, do you want some weed? That could help.” Pete offers, as he starts to rifle through the pockets of his sweatpants.

If there’s one thing Addie knows, it’s that Pete hates awkward silence. This elevator cannot get fixed soon enough.

“You do realize that in the three minutes we’ve been here, you’ve asked a coworker to have sex and offered her drugs?” She’s mindlessly scrolling through Instagram.

Pete rolls his eyes. “I don’t think your HR complaint would hold up, given that we’ve already done both of those things together, AJ.”

She flashes him a dirty look, her blood boiling. " **Don’t** call me that.”

“What should I call you then? Adelaide? Addie?” His voice is steeped in sarcasm, a fake smile plastered across his face. His hands are splayed out in front of him, welcoming her response.

“No, nothing. Neither.” She groans in frustration. “Just don’t talk to me at all.”

He lets out one laugh. “We’re stuck in an elevator. You want me to ignore you until we get out of here?”

“We’ve been working on the same floor and you’ve done a pretty good job of ignoring me for the last six months, so…” She’s still fidgeting with her phone. She can’t bring herself to look at him.

“Hold up. I’m the one ignoring you?!” He’s baffled. “You completely switched up your schedule to avoid me. You won’t even look at me when we pass in the hallway. And I know you **only** skip out on Update when I’m going to be on.”

He’s not wrong. Weekend Update had always been her favorite part of SNL. She made sure to take advantage of the fact that she worked in the studio, to enjoy it live. But for the entirety of this season, she’d checked the guests before heading to 8H. She couldn’t see Pete perform. It was the reason he’d caught her eye, the thing that had drawn her to him in the beginning. But mostly, she was reminded that it was the thing they’d talked about at his first afterparty as a single guy.


	2. Sunday, November 11, 2018, 4:54 am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

If Addie was honest with herself, she really didn’t know what to make of the after-after party. She wasn’t sure if she liked coming to these or if she hated them. Part of her really wanted to be back in her apartment, snuggled under a blanket and catching up on all the sleep she’d lost over the last few days, while the other half of her wanted to talk endlessly about the things they’d pulled off for this week’s episode.

In the end, the energetic piece of her always won out. She wanted - no, needed - to share the excitement of the live show, to laugh again about the best parts, and to brainstorm ideas for the coming episode with her colleagues. When she found SNL, she had found her people - creative, enthusiastic, driven.

At this particular party, though, she found herself yawning as she finished a drink. Night was creeping closer and closer to day, so she paid her bar tab and headed for the coat check. Grabbing her jacket, she waved to Pete as he appeared next to her. 

“Hey,” She starts, pulling on her sleeve. “You were great on Update tonight.” She touches his arm and smiles.

“Ugh, don’t do that.” He shakes her off. She’s perplexed.

“Okay. You were horrible and I feel dumber having watched it.” She pulls her hair up and out from inside her jacket, smiling. “Better?”

“Not what I meant.” He mutters, grabbing his coat from the attendant and running a hand through his ice blue hair.

“Oh, I - Pete,” Her eyes wide, she grabs his forearm again, catching his attention and his gaze. “Sorry, shit. I didn’t mean the Ariana stuff. Just the Crenshaw part.” She cringes. “But it was all good.”

“Fuck, I am so **sick** of everyone looking at me like that.” He rolls his eyes as he quickly zips his jacket. “See you Tuesday.” He mumbles, as he turns and heads for the door. Addie follows.

“Do you wanna walk me to the subway?” She asks, smiling as she steps up alongside him. She doesn't want to leave the night this way.

“Not particularly, no.” They step outside and he immediately lights a joint. Exhaling he continues, “But that’s where I’m going too, so,” He shrugs.

Addie’s quiet for a block, not sure what to say to him or what to talk about. She doesn’t want to bring up the obvious, but also doesn’t want to pretend his broken engagement doesn’t exist. For a moment, the only sounds are the clicking of her shoes on the pavement and the burning of his joint as he inhales.

“I know I’m the butt of everyone’s jokes right now, alright?” He exhales, shaking his head. “That was my lame attempt at taking back my pain, or some shit.” He offers her the joint and she takes it, happy for the distraction. “I wasn’t trying to be an asshole.” He stops and pivots, turning to her. “Was I an asshole?”

Addie shakes her head no, coughing as she hands the joint back. “No, I genuinely meant what I said. It was great. I think you can hear my laugh if we watch it back.” She pauses, and decides to elaborate, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Pete - the callback to last week, your goofy laugh, the way you tried to pivot back to Colin - you went out there and you were you: the best parts of you, the reason you work here.” She offers a smile.

He takes a moment to digest what she’s said before he reaches out and slings his arm over her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug.

“Thanks,” He whispers, then clears his throat, shaking his head. He takes another hit, and holds it out for Addie to take.

“Too heavy for 5 am?” She asks, taking the weed with one hand and playfully pushing him away with the other.

“Shit, too heavy for any time of day.” He shoves his hands into his jacket pockets and they resume walking.

He can’t stand the silence. There’s too much going on in his head.

“Was the Ariana ringtone thing too much? Fuck!” His jaw is clenched.

She shakes her head no, blowing a cloud of smoke between them.

What Addie really wants to tell him is that the juxtaposition of his recently covered up _Dangerous Woman_ tattoo - which was only visible once he turned to look at Crenshaw - to the _breathin’_ ringtone was perfect; that artistically it couldn’t have been planned any better. What she wants to tell him is that she hadn’t seen a more authentic Pete maybe ever, as he had struggled to stifle a smile while the song continued and he spoke his ex’s name. What she wants to tell him is that yes, _Pete davidson_ is still a great song, but not nearly as great as the real Pete Davidson.

For the first time since she’d known him, she started to see Pete differently. When he bit his lip during that Weekend Update piece, knowing he needed to try to remain straight-faced for his own sake and out of some bit of respect for Ariana, a flash of attraction ran through Addie. She didn’t know what to make of it. She and Pete were only ever coworkers - friendly, sure, but nothing more. She was still confused about why the lanky, newly blue-haired boy had caught her attention in that way a few hours ago - especially amidst his heartbreak.

“Here’s the thing: no matter what you do, you’ll always be doing too much or not enough. She’s going to hate it when you mention her and hate it when you don’t. There’s no real winning here. You have to do what’s right for you. To heal.” She places her free hand over her heart, truly hoping Pete will hear her. “A lot of people couldn’t do what you did tonight, or what you did last week, or whatever it is you’ll do next week.” She steps in front of him, forcing him to make eye contact with her. “Don’t sell yourself short.” She hands him back his joint.

Pete was wrong about Addie earlier. She wasn’t looking at him like everyone else seemed to be. She was the first person in weeks who was having a truthful conversation with him without pity in their voice. She was the first person who validated his feelings, while still empowering him and giving him real hope. She was someone he felt he had finally been himself around and who had accepted him.

She’s a few steps ahead of him now, waiting at the top of the stairs to the subway entrance.

“Pete? You coming?” She asks, turning to check on him.

“Oh - uh...no.” He steps forward to meet her. He motions back toward the party. “I actually have a car waiting for me back at the bar. To take me back to my mom’s house in Staten Island.” He punctuates his statement with finger guns.

“Oh.” Addie scrunches her nose, confused. “I thought you said you were taking the subway?”

“Yeah, uh, I lied?” Pete inhales, the end of the joint glowing red. “Just didn’t want you to have to walk alone.”

“Oh.” She pauses, then adds. “Thanks. You didn’t have to.” She turns to the stairwell, confused, and turns back to add, “Goodnight. Or good morning.” She never knows how to say goodbye to people after these things.

Pete grabs her elbow, and she pivots back to him. She looks to his hand on her arm, then to his face.

“Yes?” She asks, her brow furrowed.

He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He steps forward, leans down to her, and brushes her lips with his: soft, innocent, longing. He quickly deepens the kiss, his hunger and urgency to feel close to her taking over. He knows he shouldn’t be doing this - out in public, with his coworker, after he just practically cried about his very famous and very recent ex.

He tastes like marijuana and while that’s never been a turn on for Addie before, she’s oddly comfortable in this embrace. She moves her hand to the back of his neck, subconsciously trying to keep him close. He slips his tongue past her lips and she smiles through the kiss, further confirming her attraction to him.

He’s the one to break them apart a moment later. His eyes are still closed when he mumbles an apology.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” He steps back, feeling the need to create physical distance between them. He runs a hand through his hair.

“No, it’s okay. It’s…” Addie trails off, not sure what to say next, still confused about the last 6 hours of her life.

“I’ll see you Tuesday?” He offers.

“Sure. Goodnight. Or good morning.” She repeats, turning to head down the stairs.

Her head is swimming as she swipes her MetroCard: she works with him, he’s younger than her, he just got out of a very serious, very public relationship. He hugged her. He walked her to the subway. He kissed her.

What she doesn’t know is that Pete is feeling very much the same way as he gets into his hired car and starts towards Staten Island: he works with her, Lorne and Mary Ellen speak so highly of her; she’s so smart and so talented, and he’s damaged goods. She really listened to him. She truly believed all of the positive things she said about him. She smiled when he kissed her.

Tuesday couldn’t come soon enough.


	3. Wednesday, February 26, 2020, 5:23 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

Her heart physically hurts when she thinks about it.

“See? You’re the one ignoring me.” He concludes, throwing his hands up.

She snaps back to attention, shaking off the memories.

“Why do you give a shit? You’ve had a hundred famous girlfriends since we hooked up...but you care if I see you on Update? Yeah, okay.” She waves him off.

“First of all: it was three.” He’s pacing in the small amount of space he has in the elevator. “And why **haven’t** you been watching Update? You’re always at Update.”

That feels like a punch in the stomach. She misses watching Update. She misses analyzing it with him later. She’s surprised to know that he’s noticed her absence.

“I’m busy, Pete. I don’t always have time to make it to the studio.” She comes up with an excuse, albeit a weak one.

“What could you possibly be working on **while** the show is airing?” He crosses his arms over his chest, attempting to call her bluff.

“Again: why do you care?” Her voice remains calm as she sidesteps his question. She doesn’t look up from her phone.

“Because I’m a narcissist, obviously.” Pete continues pacing. “But also, uh, because I fucking notice when you aren’t there and because I fucking **thought** we were friends.”

Since that after-after party and the walk to the subway, Pete had made it his pre-Update ritual to find Addie in the studio. She didn’t notice, too busy laughing and watching Che and Jost banter, but Pete would see her and instantly remember her words: “you went out there and you were you: the best parts of you, the reason you work here.”

Those first few Weekend Update bits after he and Ariana had broken up weren’t the easiest pieces he’d ever written or performed, to say the least. He was used to being under fire for some reason or another, but since feeling a little less confident post-breakup, everything seemed like a major criticism. Addie’s words of encouragement were what got him through the rest of that season.

“Well if me not coming to Update means we aren’t friends, then I guess we aren’t friends.” She sighs, shrugs. “Sorry.” It’s taking her a tremendous amount of effort for her to stay this emotionless and she knows she’ll lose her nerve if she looks up at him.

“I thought the whole reason you didn’t want to pursue things was because you wanted to be able to work together.” He stops moving, standing in front of her, looking for any sort of acknowledgment.

“I did.” She admits, hating that he’s right.

“Yeah, and how’s that working out for ya?!” He’s practically yelling. He plants himself in front of her, takes a deep breath, and lowers his voice. “I thought we were friends.” He repeats.

Addie’s desperately hoping for some sort of social media distraction on her phone, too scared of what she’ll say if this conversation continues. Pete, however, sees her lack of engagement as obvious disinterest and he can’t control himself.

“Will you just talk to me?!” He reaches down and plucks the phone out of her hand.

“HEY!” She stands, spilling the contents of her bag all over the floor of the elevator. With nowhere to go, Pete is backed up against the wall, Addie grabbing for her phone. Reflexively, he catches her forearm with his empty hand. It’s the first close physical contact they’ve had in a long time.

Her breath catches in her throat.

He squeezes his eyes shut and swallows, tipping his head back, away from her. He’s grateful that he’s so much taller than she is. Being face-to-face with her right now would be too much.

Instinctively, he runs his thumb over her wrist, the spot where her tattoo decorates her skin.

She winces and presses her lips together, hoping no sound will escape.

“C’mon, AJ…” He breathes, his thumb still gliding back and forth across her skin.


	4. Tuesday, November 13, 2018, 5:28 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

Pete wasn’t sure what he should say to Addie, should he see her in the office. He was happy to have had Monday in the building to pitch and write without any (additional) distractions. The photography crew came back on Tuesday, usually to shoot bumper photos with the host. They would both be busy, but Pete hoped they would bump into each other.

Addie had lunch delivered, eating between edits, and spent her day running back and forth between wardrobe and the set for the photoshoot. Before Addie knew it, Mary Ellen was turning off her desk lamp and gathering her things.

“Don’t stay too late.” She suggests, leaving the office for the evening.

“Mhmm. Just finishing this edit and then I’m going.” Addie confirms, her eyes glued to her computer screen.

Needless to say, her day really hadn’t gone the way she’d hoped. She wanted to bump into Pete or for there to be some reason for her to seek him out. Professionally, there was no justification for a visit to his office...she’d tried to come up with one all day. 

And now that she’s done with her work for the day, she has no reason to stick around. She’s locking the photography office door when she hears Pete’s laugh down the hallway. He’s with Aidy, and they’re heading back from the elevator lobby towards their writing offices. He catches Addie out of the corner of his eye and breaks away from Aidy, promising to continue their conversation later.

“Hey,” He meets her halfway down the hallway. “Heading out?”

“Hey,” She smiles, nods, and readjusts her bag on her shoulder. “I was the last one here from my crew, actually. I’m starving and tired and it’s only Tuesday.”

“Oh, cool. Can we talk for a sec?” He licks his lips, a nervous habit, and motions in the direction of her office.

“Uh, sure.” She turns around and unlocks the door, asking, “what’s up?” though she’s pretty sure she already knows.

He shuts the door behind them. “I’m not some dick who goes around kissing random girls.” 

“I know that.” She pauses. “And I’m not someone who takes advantage of her coworkers.” She adds, eyes narrowed, though slightly confused.

“No, no, of course not.” He nods, shifts his weight, and crosses his arms over his chest. “So, like, we’re good, then?” He asks, swallowing.

“Pete,” She places her hand on his forearm. “Of course we are.” She smiles.

She’s moving towards the door, their conversation over, reminding herself that he was engaged two weeks ago. She mentally chalks the kiss up to an intoxicated impulse. 

She’s locking the door again when he asks, “Do you wanna grab dinner?”

Truth be told, he did not want to go through another day of not seeing her and hoping to bump into her in the hallway. She was here, right now, in front of him, and he didn’t want to say goodbye yet.

She turns to face him. “You don’t have more to do here?”

“Oh, yeah, I do. But I’ve barely left my desk all day and I’m hungry.” He shrugs. “I’ll eat and come back after.”

After deciding on a place that they hope will be far enough off the beaten path to avoid the paparazzi, they walk to the elevator lobby. As Addie reaches out to press the “down” button, her jacket creeps up her arm and Pete catches a glimpse of her newly exposed wrist. He grabs it, pulling it closer to view.

“Hey! I didn’t know you had a tattoo!” He’s inspecting it, moving her arm from side to side. “Why didn’t I know you had a tattoo?!”

In black loopy handwriting, the words " **I love you, A.J.** ” are inked onto the inner part of her wrist.

“Oh, because I usually wear a watch to cover it up.” She’s looking at it now, too, with a smile. “I forgot to grab my watch on my way out the door this morning.”

“Oh, I get it.” He nods, knowingly, and drops her hand. “Is AJ your ex?”

She laughs and shakes her head no. “No, I’m AJ.”

Pete looks at her, confused, skeptical. “Have I been calling you the wrong name this whole time?” He’s speaking slowly.

“No, no. Of course not.” She assures him. The elevator arrives and they step in. She continues, “My first name is Adelaide, my middle name is James. I was named after my grandmother...this is her handwriting.” Addie is looking at it again, smiling, thinking of the birthday card it was copied from. She runs her fingers over it. “I got it the day after she died. She was my best friend.”

“Hold up, I’m still confused.” Pete squints, trying to piece things together. “Why do you cover it up? You don’t like it?”

“Oh my god, no, I love it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever bought myself.” The elevator arrives in the lobby and they head toward the 50th Street exit. “I kind of wish I had put it somewhere different. It’s really just for me. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to share that part of me with the world...like it’s my secret connection to my grandmother.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to…” He stops, reconsiders. “I just like tattoos.” Pete is kicking himself.

“No, it’s fine. I mean, I’m sure you know - how often do people you barely know come up to you and ask you what one of your tattoos means?”

“Oh, all the time.” He agrees. “But that doesn’t really stop me from getting them…”

“So, yes. I have this tattoo and I love it but I cover it up.” She stops, thinks for a moment. “When I say it like that, it makes no sense.”

He laughs. “Well, **none** of my tattoos make sense.”

They arrive at the cafe and Pete holds the door open for her.

“After you, AJ.” He winks and smiles.

Pete didn’t know what any of this meant. All he knew was that he wanted to spend more time with her. He had convinced himself that he needed to make contact with her today in order to apologize, but he quickly realized he had been looking for an excuse to see her. She felt like an escape from the rest of the world, like a very much needed breath of fresh air.

“Thank you.” She tips her head toward him in acknowledgement as she enters the cafe and smiles back at him.

“So,” He rubs his hands together, peering up at the menu board above the counter. “What should we get, AJ?”

She laughs, covering her face with her hands. She peers up at him. “Was telling you this a mistake? Are you going to call me that every chance you get now?”

“I just think it’s a dope name. It suits you.” He waits a beat and adds, “AJ.”


	5. Wednesday, February 26, 2020, 5:31 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

“Please don’t do that.” She whispers as she pulls away from him. She kneels and busies herself by collecting her belongings that are strewn about the elevator.

He sighs and crouches down next to her, picking up a lip gloss and a pair of sunglasses. He hands them to her, along with her phone, and they make eye contact. They are stuck there, unmoving, looking at one another for the first time in a long time. She doesn’t know how they got here, yelling at each other in an elevator, and he’s just as clueless.

Pete breaks the silence, if only for his own sake.

“Hey, I’m sorry. About the phone. And about flipping out.” He stands, purposely distancing himself from her.

She nods in acknowledgement, picking up the rest of her things and putting them back into her bag. She returns to sit in the corner, her legs splayed out in front of her, and places her head in her hands.

It’s quiet again and this time, Pete doesn’t know what to say. He stands on the opposite side of the elevator from her, biting at his nails.

She looks up at him and exhales, shrugs. “I thought we were friends, too. Or more than that, at some point, I guess? But then we weren’t. And that’s why I stopped coming to Update.” She admits. “It sucked to watch you talk about other girls. So I decided not to subject myself to that this season.”

He slides down the wall, sitting in his corner of the elevator, processing everything she’s just said. His knees are bent, elbows resting on them. He desperately wishes he could smoke a bowl right now.

“Well. It goes without saying that I’m pretty fucked up up here.” He points to his head as he turns to face her, resting against the wall. “I was not in a place where I could function without being in a relationship.”

“Or three.” Addie interjects, turning to meet his gaze.

“Alright, or three.” He sighs, readjusts. “I know that’s a dick thing to say, but it’s the truth. I cared about those girls but I also needed to feel loved and wanted and a whole bunch of other shit that I’m talking about in therapy and I don’t need to talk about now.” He’s rushing through his words, the best explanation he can give.

Another couple of minutes go by, silent.

“I was jealous.” She admits, maybe for the first time outloud. She nods, confirming it to herself, staring straight ahead.

“I think you made it pretty clear that you didn’t want to date me.” He offers, his hands folded together to keep himself from fidgeting. “But I **am** sorry if I hurt you, AJ.” He catches himself and starts to apologize for using her nickname, but Addie waves him off.

They sit, unmoving, for a few more silent moments. Pete has said everything he feels he can say. He is running through their conversation in his head again, trying to find any thread that can continue a dialogue between them. Before he can open his mouth, Addie makes a confession. Her voice is small, defeated, vulnerable.

“You’re the only person other than my grandmother to ever call me that.”


	6. Sunday, November 18, 2018, 2:48 am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

The show weeks fly by. It’s grueling and busy and fast-paced, and breaks always seem to come at the right time. Next week is Thanksgiving so the offices will be closed, which Addie appreciates because 30 Rock is crazy at any time of the year but especially from now until January.

The crowd that had formed around Pete and Chris dissipates as their impromptu after-after party performance of their RBG rap ends. Laughing, Pete plops down next to Addie at a booth.

“Dude, RBG is my next tattoo.” He decides, nodding his head, taking a sip of his drink. “She’s sick.”

They’ve grabbed food a few times this week and hung out in the office late-night, watching old sketches on the SNL server. They’ve bonded over their mutual love of Adam Sandler and anything that John Mulaney has written. She’s happy to be a distraction for Pete, a friend amidst constant articles about his failed relationship and a myriad of miserable social media comments. She’s comfortable with this friendship, glad to have another confidant at work.

Pete, on the other hand, is doing whatever he can to seek out the positive in his life. Addie falls into that category. He is grateful for something new and fresh, a coworker that makes work feel different and better. 

“What do you have planned for Thanksgiving?” She asks, tipping her drink back to finish it.

“Just dinner at my mom’s.” He shrugs. “My sister will be home from school, my grandparents will probably come over. Smoking a bowl and crushing turkey, I guess. Video games.”

“Well,” She stands, placing her hand on his shoulder. “I hope you have a great week off. Get some rest! You deserve it.”

“Wait, AJ,” He ditches his drink at the table and follows her, “you’re going?”

“Yeah,” She turns to face him, bundling up with her scarf and hat. “My parents will be here tomorrow. They’re coming for the week and my apartment is a disaster.”

“Wait, hang on.” He’s pulling on his jacket. “We can take my car.” 

“Pete, I can take the subway. It’s fine, don’t you want to stay?” She gestures to the other room.

“No.” He decides immediately. “C’mon, but we have to go out the back.” He grabs her hand and leads her to the back exit, weaving through the kitchen and out an “employees only” door. The paparazzi have been relentless and he doesn’t want to deal with them tonight. His car is waiting, parked in a service alleyway, and he motions for her to get in.

“It’s freezing and my subway stop is blocks away.” She says, before climbing in. “So thank you.”

“Sure.” He closes the door, grateful to be hidden away without the flashbulbs and people yelling at him. “We have a stop before Staten Island!” Pete declares, patting his driver on the shoulder.

She gives the driver her address. It’s a short ride to her apartment, given that it’s the early hours of a Sunday morning.

“Hey, want to know something cool?” She asks, trying to contain her nerd enthusiasm, as they turn onto her street.

“Sure…” Pete draws out.

“James Dean used to live in my building.” She’s weirdly proud, but she knows it’s silly. Pete laughs, unsure of how else to respond. She shakes her head at herself and gives him a hug goodbye.

“Goodnight. Or good morning.” Addie opens her door and steps out into the snow. “And thank you for the ride.”

She’s feet from her front door, fumbling with her keys, when Pete yells from the car.

“Hey, AJ, hold up!” He jumps out and jogs to meet her. He seems a bit restless. He grabs her hand, purposely placing his thumb over her tattoo. “Can we hang out for a bit?” He nods to the building.

The sun is coming up and there are a million reasons this shouldn’t happen, but Addie finds herself unlocking the door and leading the way to her walkup.

“To be fair: I warned you that this place was a mess.” She turns to him as they enter. She shrugs off her coat and throws it, along with the rest of her winter attire, onto a kitchen chair.

He looks around and rolls his eyes. “Yeah right, you think your desk is a mess when one paperclip is out of place.”

“Ha ha.” She over-enunciates. “Drink?” She asks, pulling two beers from the fridge. He accepts, twisting the top off of one and holding it out to clink with Addie’s.

“To RBG?” He asks.

“The Notorious.” She concurs, taking a sip.

“I don’t have very much in the way of food...I’m not here a ton, obviously.” Addie leaves her beer on the table and turns to check a cabinet, her shirt lifting up as she reaches. Pete seizes the opportunity and presses the backside of his hand against her waist. She quickly recoils, laughing.

“Your hands are freezing!” She accuses, swatting them away. He’s laughing, too, as he sets his beer down on the table, trying to touch any skin she’s showing.

“Pete!” She yelps through laughter, a futile attempt to get out of his grasp. She’s grabbing for his wrists, and she’s got one, but his lanky limbs give him an undeniable advantage.

“No snacks for you, then!” She threatens, laughing, still trying to win this battle, but she’s backed up against the counter and Pete’s hands aren’t really that cold anymore.

Addie doesn’t see it coming when Pete crushes his mouth against hers. She releases his wrist, taken aback when he crowds her against the fridge. She pushes at his chest, in need of a second to think.

“Hey, hold on, wait...” She requests, breathless.

“Shit, AJ. I’ve wanted to kiss you all week.” He runs his hand through his hair and steps back. “But we haven’t been alone and fuck, the thought of not seeing you over break, I just...”

“No, I...didn’t expect it.” She’s subconsciously mirrored his movement and has closed the distance between them.

He brings his hands up to her face, forcing her to look at him. He’s smiling. He pushes her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

“What?” She asks, trying to hide her grin.

“I want to kiss you.” He starts, running his thumb across her bottom lip. “Can I kiss you?”

“I guess so.” She scrunches her nose and shrugs, a last-ditch effort to keep this interaction from being out of her control.

He sighs and drops his hands from her face, stepping back. He throws his hands up in the air and snags his beer off the table as he turns away from her.

“Hey, hey!” She grabs at the cloth of his sweatshirt and scurries back in front of him. “I was just kidding.” She presses her body against his, hooking her hands behind his back. She looks up at him as he takes a swig of his beer. “You can kiss me, Pete Davidson.”

He sets the bottle back down on the table and laughs. “Why don’t you throw my middle name in there, too, Adelaide James?” His arms are by his sides. He’s not going to give up so much so quickly this time. Addie rests her chin on his chest.

“Please kiss me, Pete Davidson.” She breathes. Saying those words out loud feels like a relief.

He shakes his head, smirking. He wraps one arm around her and leans down to peck her lips. He stays there for a moment. “Okay.” He kisses her again. “But only because you just practically begged me.” He smiles and their lips meet once more. She breaks the kiss and pushes away, walking back over to grab her beer. Pete looks at her, confused.

“What?” She asks, hopping up to sit on the kitchen counter, taking a sip, wide-eyed and innocent. “We kissed.” She shrugs and swings her legs, emphasizing her casual nature about all of this.

“You’re killing me, AJ.” He crosses the room and takes the beer from her hand, setting it on the table behind him. He stands in front of her and puts one hand on each of her legs.

She sighs and slips her hands inside the front pocket of his hoodie, pulling him closer. This time, she initiates the kiss.

Pete is gentle and unassuming. He’s moving slowly and he’s letting her dictate their pace. At first, her hands stay tucked inside his pocket. He can feel she’s tentative.

She takes his lower lip between her teeth, nipping as she pulls away. She catches his gaze as her eyelids flutter open. He looks hopeful, if not lustful. She lets out a giggle, turning her face away from him.

“Whaaaat?” He sighs, nuzzling his face against her shoulder.

“Sorry. Sorry!” She whispers an apology, sliding her hands under his hoodie, running her fingers along the line of his jeans. “Just nervous.” She admits. She moves her cheek against his, trying to prod him to kiss her again.

Instead, Addie feels him start kissing her neck. She tries and fails to hide her enjoyment.

“Pete,” She bites her lip, his name coming out more like a moan than she had intended.

He pauses, and whispers, “If you keep saying my name like that, we aren’t going to get much further than this countertop.”

She nods and lifts the hem of his sweatshirt, along with his undershirt, silently asking for permission to remove them. His white-blonde hair fluffs as she pulls them over his head, tossing them onto the floor. She flattens her hands against him, her fingers dancing over his tattoos. She feels a scar on his chest in her exploration and leans forward to kiss it.

Pete squeezes his eyes shut, his breathing ragged, trying to control himself. He makes it a solid five seconds before he scoops Addie off the counter, eliciting a yelp from her, and drops her onto the couch. She reaches for his hand and pulls him down on top of her. They’re nose to nose, their breathing uneven, and her finger finds his scar again, running along it, before she moves to kiss him again.

Pete’s hands are unbuttoning her jeans, sliding them off her hips. She shimmies out of them, pushing them off, as his hands roam her body. He needs to feel close to her.

Addie reaches down to unhook Pete’s belt when he breaks away from her, his hand grabbing her wrist. She searches his face.

“Are we doing this?” He asks, his chest heaving. He’s asking her as much as he’s asking the universe.

It takes her a minute to respond. “Do you want to?” She asks, her brows knitted in confusion.

“Oh, I want to, AJ, trust me.” He licks his lips. “Do you?”

She nods. “Please kiss me, Pete Davidson.”


	7. Saturday, December 15, 2018, 3:52 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: This chapter deals with the note Pete posted to Instagram in December of 2018, which brings up discussion of suicidal thoughts.
> 
> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

“Hey...have you seen this?” Mary Ellen hands Addie her phone. She’s preoccupied with updating the visual library and does a double-take when she sees @petedavidson amongst the words on Mary Ellen’s screen. Instantly, her stomach hurts. This is why she turned off her SNL Google Alerts.

She’s been waiting for Mary Ellen to catch on. She’s been sleeping with Pete for a month now and she knew, eventually, someone would snap a photo of him outside her apartment. Though they had agreed that they wouldn’t tell anyone, Addie’s prepared for this; she’s tried to come up with the most concise route from A to B, for the inevitable moment when her boss asks her why she and Pete always seem to disappear from after parties at the same time.

She sits up straight, engrossed, both hands cradling the phone. This isn’t what she expected at all. Her stomach churns, now for a completely different reason. Addie checks the time. It’s almost 4 pm. The screenshot shows that this iPhone note was uploaded to Pete’s Instagram account hours ago. She looks back to Mary Ellen and tries to speak, but can’t. Her hands are shaking as she sets the phone down. She covers her face and takes a deep breath, willing herself not to cry.

“Hey, he’s okay. He’s here. He’s safe.” Mary Ellen puts her hands on Addie’s shoulders, steadying her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. Are you okay?”

She stands and nods, because she’s afraid of what she’ll say if she opens her mouth.

“Need some air.” She manages to lie, and she’s out the door and down the hallway before she can make sense of any of it. She needs to see him for herself.

She appears in the doorway of his writing office. Heidi is sitting cross-legged on the floor, Kenan is perched on the sofa, Cecily stands in the corner. It feels like a funeral for a very much alive person. Pete turns in his desk chair and catches a glimpse of Addie. Tears are brimming in her eyes.

“Hey, uh, guys, can you give us a second?” He asks, hesitantly, as he stands. They agree and slide by her on their way out, Cecily giving her arm a squeeze as she passes. Addie steps in and opens her mouth to speak, but she’s still got nothing.

“Hang on.” He closes the door behind her. He'll take whatever little bit of privacy they can get.

“I didn’t know…” She starts, looking down at her hands. “I didn’t see it, Mary Ellen just told me, I…” She looks at him, her chest tight. “I should have been here sooner. I’m so sorry.” She wipes away an errant tear.

He moves to sit down on the sofa, exhaling, rubbing at his eyes. She’s still standing, watching him, unsure of what to do.

“I know this is hard to believe and it sounds batshit crazy,” He starts. “But me being suicidal is nothing new. I know that you don’t know that yet and I’m sorry and I know it sounds legit insane.” He puts his hand out, hoping she’ll come sit next to him. “But I’m okay.”

She takes his hand and he pulls her down to the couch. She wraps her arms around him, burying her head in his shoulder.

" **Are** you okay?” She mumbles into his shirt, squeezing him.

“I’m okay. I promise.” He dips his head down, kissing her on the forehead a few times. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” She confirms, lifting her legs up onto the couch and over his lap. She wants to be as physically close to him as she can be. They stay just like this for a bit, Pete resting his chin on the top of her head and rubbing her back.

“Do you want to talk? Do you want me to go? Are you going on tonight?” She has many, many more questions.

“I’m not going on tonight, no.” He takes a deep breath. “Lorne and I talked about it. I’m gonna introduce Miley. Just so people can see me. I’m in another pre-tape thing, too, so...”

“Good, that’s...good.” She agrees, nuzzling against him. 

“And - as much as I love this-” He kisses the top of her head. “Probably not the best idea.”

“I don’t care if Lorne himself walks in here right now.” Addie states, her tone the definition of pouting.

“Except that I know that you do, AJ.” He nudges her. “C’mon. It’s Saturday. We’ve got work to do.” 

She chuckles, surprised, and shakes her head at herself. “How is it that you threatened suicide and you’re the one comforting me?” She groans, annoyed at her seeming neediness. 

“Stop it.” He gives her a hug and sighs. “Just been through this a bunch of times.”

She slides her legs off of Pete’s lap, taking her time to stand. She doesn't want to leave him. She doesn’t want to take her eyes off him. She starts towards the door, still holding one of his hands. She stops and turns back to him.

“Are you going to the after party? Do you still want to come over later?” She asks, unsure of if or how any of this impacts their...whatever it is they’re doing.

“AJ,” He steps to meet her, leans down to kiss her. “Nothing’s different. Nothing has changed.”

Except...it has. Everything has changed.


	8. Saturday, January 19, 2020, 3:12 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

Addie is retouching a photo at her desk when she hears a knock on her office door. She looks up to see Pete, a hoodie and a baseball hat his chosen disguise for the day.

“Ice cream?” He asks, leaning against the door frame.

“You read my mind.” She hits “save” and stands, excited to get out of the office for a minute.

To their coworkers on set, they’re just friends. Everyone else was just as upset as Addie was about Pete’s Instagram post last month and this was the first show week back, so it seems no one’s the wiser.

As far as either of them are concerned, Pete doesn’t need any added attention and Addie is happy to be seen as his new friend in a difficult time. So friendly, in fact, that they spent New Year’s Eve together in Massachusetts, at his first stand-up show in months. It was nice to get out of the city and to spend time together in a way that didn’t relate to SNL.

For Pete, this is not a rebound. He’s always been accused of moving on too fast, of jumping in headfirst, of overwhelming his girlfriends with more than they can handle. He’s content to play it cool this time, to grab a snack with his coworker during the day, and to be more than friends at her apartment, out of sight, inconspicuous, later that night. 

They’ve taken over the Ben & Jerry’s in the basement of 30 Rock, their new favorite place. Some scouting has shown that on a Saturday afternoon in the dead of winter, they can slip in and out and Pete won’t be noticed. It’s become a bit of a pre-show ritual.

“So,” Addie starts, digging into her ice cream, “Are you excited to go on with your best friend John Mulaney tonight?” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“I’m gonna fuck it up.” He leans back in his chair. “Mulaney **always** makes me break.”

He’s not wrong. Fast forward a few hours and Pete is laughing at himself, at John, and at Colin and Michael. Addie’s watching on set, beaming, insanely happy for Pete’s triumphant return to the Weekend Update desk.

She had been worried about Pete since that Instagram post. He had deleted social media, he had readjusted his therapy schedule, he had thrown himself back into stand up, but Addie still kept a cautious eye out. She didn’t realize it until now but she had been waiting for the next crisis, holding her breath.

Pete is in his element; he and Mulaney are bouncing off each other perfectly. Addie feels slightly proud when _The Mule-aney_ poster she worked on pops up on screen and Pete hides his face behind John, laughing.

She watches Pete lean back in his chair, the relief evident in every part of his body, as the segment ends. He’s up from the desk the moment they throw to a commercial break, taking off his mic, and heading toward her. He doesn’t slow down, just grabs her hand as he passes, yanking her down the hallway. He rushes to his dressing room, closing the door behind them. The smile could burst off his face. He pauses to take a breath.

Pete wraps his arms around Addie and lifts her off the ground.

“That was…” He doesn’t have the words to accurately describe how he’s feeling.

“Incredible?” She offers, as feelings of pride and happiness bubble up inside her. He returns her to the ground.

“Blissful?” She asks, pushing him back toward the couch in his dressing room. She’s grinning. The back of his calves make contact with the front of the sofa and he sits, motioning for Addie to join him.

“Euphoric.” He confirms as she sits on his lap. He leans his head up to kiss her, needing to capture this feeling, wanting to share it with her. She pushes off his pink jacket, her desire just as palpable as his.

They’ve been making out like teenagers for a few minutes - her shirt and his shoes have now joined his pink jacket as discarded items of clothing - when the door to his dressing room flies open.

“Hey, Pete, they need you for - oh fuck.” It’s Mulaney.

Addie quickly jumps off Pete’s lap, snatching a pillow to cover herself as she rolls off the couch and onto the floor. Pete picks up his jacket and his shoes, holding them in a balled up mess, as he heads for the door. Wardrobe was going to be furious.

“Shit shit shit.” He’s mumbling as he throws Addie her shirt.

“AJ, I’ll be back in 10. Just...wait here.” He’s scrambling, discombobulated. He rushes out, slamming the door behind him.

Addie slips her shirt over her head, but holds the pillow over her face, embarrassed.

“John, before you say anything, I just-”

“The mysterious AJ.” John crosses his arms over his chest, shakes his head.

“The what?” She reacts, turning quickly to face him, losing the pillow in the process.

“Oh, he’s been texting you for **weeks**!” He points at her. “It makes sense now, now that it’s you. I thought for sure it was Kate.”

“Kate?” She never knows what John’s talking about.

“Beckinsale?”

She feels like she just got punched in the stomach. She doesn’t know what to say. But it doesn’t matter, because John’s already onto the next question.

“So does everyone know?” He continues, gesturing to the studio.

“What? No. No one knows.” She’s starting to feel defensive - on top of her confusion.

“Oh. I assumed because you guys were just making out in the middle of the show in an unlocked dressing room that you must not care if any of the **hundred** people who work here walked in.”

Addie would look back on this conversation with John as her snap back to reality. 

What **were** they doing? She had been so careful for the last couple of months. She didn’t even have Pete saved in her phone as a contact. She had no plans of telling Mary Ellen, and the last thing she wanted was for someone to think differently of her because of this. Maybe that was selfish. But she had worked so hard to get here. Was she willing to risk it for Pete Davidson?

And what the **fuck** was going on with Kate Beckinsale?

“I have to go.” She mumbles, pushing past John to the door, avoiding eye contact.

She rushes to her office, a half-hearted yell down the hallway from John behind her. She gathers her things and heads for the elevator. She has to get out of the building before the show is over. She hails a cab - the thought of cramming into a subway car makes her want to throw up.

The minute she unlocks her door, her cell phone starts vibrating in her pocket. She doesn’t need to look at the screen to know it’s Pete.

She retreats to her bed, fully dressed, and climbs under the covers. 

Against her better judgement, she googles Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale. There are Instagram comments. A photo of them holding hands. Page Six articles. How did she not know about this?

Pete calls three more times. Her phone starts lighting up with text messages.

“mulaney told me u left. u ok?”  
“where r u?”  
“aj. please call me.”

She doesn’t know what to say or how to respond to any of it, so she turns off her phone and rolls over. What she wants to do is sleep until tomorrow afternoon and not worry about any of this until she has to go back to work on Tuesday.

Five minutes go by before she hears the buzzer. It’s incessant. She doesn’t want to get up, she doesn’t want to talk about any of this - but all she can imagine is that Pete is standing outside of her building being bombarded by paparazzi. She drags herself to the kitchen and hits the buzzer. She unlocks her apartment door and sits, waiting. She can hear him running up the stairs. He bursts through the door, out of breath.

“Are you okay?” He asks, his hands on his knees. “I called you a hundred times.”

Addie collects her thoughts the best she can. She takes a deep breath.

“What are we doing?”

Pete tries to read her face. It offers no help. “What do you mean?”

“What the **fuck** happened back there, Pete?” She stands. She needs to move. “That was so careless. That could have been **anyone** who walked in on us. Last month we were all snuggled up in your office before the Miley episode. And now, tonight, we’re practically having sex in your dressing room?”

“Well, I didn’t think I was coming here to get yelled at.” Pete mumbles as he looks away from her.

Addie hates that they’re having this conversation. “I don’t think we should do this anymore.” She turns away from him.

“Whoa, hold on, AJ.” He steps in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “We were literally just hooking up and now...?”

“How does this play out, Pete?” She challenges. “We go tell our bosses we’ve been fucking for the last two months and we hope we can continue to work together? We go public and you get another round of death threats? I don’t want any of that.” She throws her hands up in the air.

“You’re freaking out about this. One person walked in on us. One! And he’s our friend. Now we’re gonna go tell the whole world?”

“Why are we keeping this a secret?” She asks, her hands on her hips, though she regrets the question the moment it leaves her mouth.

“I don’t know. Because we work together?” He starts pacing. “Because I was engaged three months ago? Because I’m fucked up?”

“I know about Kate.” Her voice comes out as a whisper. He stops dead in his tracks. His body tenses. She looks at him. He doesn’t have a response.

Addie turns, heading back to her bedroom. She crawls back under the covers and waits to hear him leave. Instead, he appears in the doorway.

“I’m...I have no...I don’t know…” He still can’t find the words.

“Pete. You can go. Go sail off into the sunset with Kate. We were having sex. And now we’re not. It’s really fine.” She turns over, facing the wall. She’s trying her hardest to believe her own words.

She hears his sneakers hitting the floor before she feels his body on the bed.

“That’s not...it’s...this is where I want to be.” He finally settles on a string of words and tentatively hooks his arm around her waist. 

She turns to face him. She brings her hand up to caress his cheek and he instinctively pulls her closer. “That’s what I want, too, but-”

“AJ, I’m so fucked up. I’m so needy and so fucking confused and I care about you so much.” He chokes out, cutting her off, burying his head in her shoulder. “I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know what the right thing is anymore.”

She doesn’t want to hurt him. She doesn’t want to be hurt. She just wants this to be easy. She finds herself running her fingers through his newly shaved, back-to-brown hair. She’s so mad - at herself, at him - but she doesn’t want to be.

“Can I stay? It’s Saturday. I want to stay.” He murmurs, still tucked up against her.

She doesn’t know what to say, so they stay that way - in their clothes from work, Pete’s arm and leg thrown over her, his head tucked beneath her chin - for a long time.

“Goodnight.” She sighs, squeezing her eyes shut. “Or good morning.”

Addie wakes up early, Pete’s arm draped over her. She wishes they could just stay here forever, in this bubble in her bedroom. She doesn’t want to move. She knows once they get up, everything will be different.

She closes her eyes, trying to sear this memory into her brain. She feels Pete stir and he pulls her closer, planting a kiss on her shoulder. Her heart hurts.

“We can’t do this anymore.” Addie keeps her eyes closed, sliding his arm off of her. She can’t look at him.

“I know.” Pete whispers. “I’m sorry. About everything. I didn’t-”

“Stop.” She interrupts. “You don’t need to apologize. We can just go back to working together and let this be what it was: a fun couple of months.” She throws the blankets off and sits up. She needs to get out of this bed.

“I’ll see you on Tuesday.” She states, monotone, still facing away from him, willing him to leave.

Pete doesn’t want this to be the end. But he knows her well enough to know that he can’t change her mind. He slips on his sneakers and heads for the door.

He stands there for a moment, trying to come up with some way to tell her everything he hasn’t been able to yet. He wants to tell her that he doesn’t regret cuddling in his office or making out in his dressing room - he would do it again tomorrow and he would tell everyone about it, if it meant they could keep doing whatever this was. He would put up with the bullshit people would write about him, he would put up with the paparazzi flashes, he would put up with the eye rolls from his friends when he told them he was in another relationship. The way he felt when he was with her was worth it. She was worth it.

But he knew she didn’t feel the same. He had tried to ignore the fact that she rejected his invites to hang out with his friends in Staten Island, that she would walk alone back to the studio if the paparazzi was around after lunch, and that she seemed to be so anti-PDA. He craved affection but knew after the first time he tried to hold her hand in a booth at an after-party that she couldn’t give it to him - not in the way that he needed it.

And Kate? Well, Kate was laughing at his jokes and touching his leg the night they met. He had mentioned the Globes to Addie in hopes that she would express any sort of interest in traveling with him to LA. But she had turned her nose up at California in general and as a result, Pete was left feeling like he could use some reassurance from any female. He and Kate had exchanged numbers and while he didn’t mean for it to have continued beyond that first night, he also didn’t do anything to stop it. She filled the spaces that Addie couldn’t - the flirty, romantic, dive-in-headfirst stuff Pete was used to. 

“See you Tuesday, AJ.” He speaks into the empty room as he pulls the door closed behind him.


	9. Wednesday, February 26, 2020, 5:39 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

“I guess I put more stock into that nickname than I probably should have. You calling me that will always remind me of those couple of months.” Addie pulls her knees up to her chest, hugging her arms around them.

This is not the conversation she wishes she was having right now. She knew that once she started down this road, she wouldn't be able to stop. There were too many feelings and too many unresolved issues.

“I can’t eat Ben & Jerry’s anymore.” Pete confesses with a sigh, licking his lips.

“I look at Ruth Bader Ginsburg and all I see is your tattoo.” She offers. He instinctively brings a hand up to touch the spot on his shoulder where she resides.

“I actually looked up who James Dean was.” He adds, slightly proud of himself.

“I threw away my _Pearl Harbor_ DVD.” She cringes, hoping she didn’t offer too much. He laughs and nods.

“Me too.”

She sighs, continuing, “I do miss watching you on Weekend Update.”

“I miss watching you watch Weekend Update.” He confirms.

It’s quiet for a beat.

“I still haven’t seen _The Mule_.” She throws into the conversation, hoping to steer away from the serious nature they’ve suddenly found themselves in.

“What?!” He practically screams. “Wow. Mistake on your part.” He turns to face her, shaking his head.

“A printed version of _The Mule-aney_ poster hangs on the wall in my office, though.” She rolls her eyes.

“Mary Ellen does love John.” Pete agrees.

The silence creeps back in. Addie chews her lip.

“Do you think we’re ever getting out of here?” She asks, leaning her head against the wall.

“No.” He deadpans.

“Ha ha. Should I call again?” She pauses. “Do you think it would help if I told them SNL superstar Pete Davidson was stuck in here, too? That he’s gonna start smoking in this elevator if we don’t get out of here?” Addie holds her hand up to her ear, pretending it’s a phone. “Tattoo artists, tie-dye clothing makers, and stoners of New York: come get your boy!”

Pete is laughing, grateful for some sort of normal interaction between them - well, as normal as one could be while stuck in an elevator.

“We’d be out of here immediately.” She concludes.

“That was funny. You should work for SNL.” He cracks a smile as he stumbles over his last few words, trying not to laugh at his own joke.

“Oh, great.” She turns to look at him. “Do you know someone I could sleep with to get a job?” She cocks her head to the side, and Pete is resigned to laughter. Addie can’t help but join in. His overwhelming joy as a result of their obvious jokes is contagious.

In between laughs, the words leave his mouth before he can think about them.

“I love you.”

She stops laughing. He can’t close his mouth.

“That’s...not funny.” Addie turns her head away from him and closes her eyes, concentrating on her breathing. The mood has completely shifted.

Making a split-second decision, Pete scrambles to sit next to her and places his hand on her arm.

“It wasn’t a joke.” Pete affirms, his voice quiet. “I love you, AJ.” He repeats.

“What the **fuck** , Pete?” She pushes his hand away, turning to look at him. Her eyes are glassy with tears. “You can’t just say that to me. That’s not fair.” She wipes away a tear that escapes down her cheek. Her voice is broken. The facade she had so carefully tried to maintain was crumbling.

“I’m...I’m sorry. Shit, I didn’t mean to make you sad.” He pauses. “If I’m being totally honest right now, I don’t know why you’re crying.”

Addie lets out a laugh and shakes her head as she rummages through her bag for tissues.

“Because! I thought this,” she motions between them, “was over. I thought I was doing us both a favor by avoiding you for the last couple of months. I thought you had moved on and I was trying to do the same.” She gives up her search for tissues and sighs as she closes her eyes, tipping her head back to rest on the wall.

“It’s not like this is the first time you’ve heard that from me.” He gently reminds her.

She turns to meet his gaze for a moment before swallowing hard, trying to wish the memory away.


	10. Saturday, May 4, 2019, 11:53 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated/edited 10/1/2020

Addie is standing in the back of the studio, anxiously awaiting Weekend Update. Adam Sandler is hosting and she’s excited to see him at the desk with Colin and Michael. She leans against the wall, waiting for the show to come back from commercial break.

She turns to see Pete, having just joined her in the staff area of the tunnel.

“Hey.” She offers a small smile.

“Hey.” He returns, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

This is about the extent of their interactions. The last few months have not been easy for either of them. Addie had so been looking forward to the cast season photo shoot before she and Pete had called it quits. But, in the aftermath of the end, she had fumbled her way through the day. She knew that Mary Ellen had noticed, but hadn’t said anything.

Then there had been the episode that Mulaney hosted. Addie loved John - as a performer and as a coworker - but she couldn’t bring herself to attend his after-party. She was trying to let Pete do whatever he wanted and she knew he would have Kate around that week, so she stayed away for her own mental health...and his.

She had heard through the grapevine that Pete and Kate had ended things. She had felt an initial surge of...happiness? Validation? But she quickly thought of Pete and his emotional state, and hoped that he was doing okay. She had stayed on set for every show and watched each episode in its entirety, keeping an eye on him from afar.

There are two shows left after this week before summer break. She’s both been wishing for May 18th and dreading it. It feels like the season finale is the closing of her chapter with Pete. Everything could be different by September.

“You were great in the monologue and the reunion sketch.” She mentions, trying to continue the conversation.

“Oh, thanks.” He nods. “Dream come true, ya know?”

“I’m sure.” Addie concurs. “Watching Update for Opera Man?” She asks, knowing he usually doesn’t hang out here to watch the segment.

“Uh, yeah.” He clears his throat. “Remember? We watched all of those old ones on the server?”

She nods, both happy and sad about the memory.

They’re coming back from commercial and Addie turns to set, Pete standing behind her in the tunnel. She can feel him move closer. She presses her eyes closed, hoping she’s imagining things.

“I miss you, AJ.” He breathes. She ignores him.

He envelopes her wrist in his hand. She yanks it away.

“Stop. It.” She demands through gritted teeth, barely turning her head toward him.

“Please talk to me.” He’s taken another step closer to her. His lips are dangerously close to her ear.

Why was this happening now? They were feet away from other people in a TV studio during a live broadcast. This was not the time for a conversation - especially one that would, no doubt, be emotionally charged.

“I love you.” He whispers, his voice breaking.

Addie slowly turns to face him.

“Have you lost your mind?” She asks, incredulous.

“Not something I would say to a mentally unstable person, but okay.”

She rolls her eyes and brushes past him, back down the tunnel, leaving the studio and heading toward her office.

She’s unlocking the door when Pete catches up to her.

“Pete, please.” She starts, facing him, her hands up in surrender. “Please. Just go back to the studio.”

“I meant it. What I said. I mean it. I do, I love you and I miss you, AJ, and can we please just-”

“No, stop. Stop!” She cuts him off and takes a step closer to him. “I am not going to be your stand in for Ariana or Kate until whoever comes along next.”

Pete feels like the wind just got knocked out of him.

“It’s not-”

“Maybe they don’t mean anything to you, but those words mean something to me.” She continues, unfazed by his attempt to interject. She looks up to meet his eyes. “Please don’t be so careless with them. The next person you say them to might take you at your word.”

She turns away from him and steps into her office, placing her hands against her desk, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. She counts to 100 in her head before she opens her eyes.

Addie knows it’s what she said she wanted, but she can’t help but notice the disappointment she feels when she turns around and Pete is gone.


	11. Wednesday, February 26, 2020, 5:44 pm

“You dated two other people after that conversation. You didn’t seem to be so in love with me then.” Addie crosses one leg over the other, defiant, trying to regain some control over her emotions and the situation.

Pete stands, needing to stretch.

“C’mon.” He starts. “Whatever I had with them...it was nothing like what I had with you.” He sighs. “You have to know that. This was different. We always said that.”

They sit in silence for a moment. Pete can’t stand it.

“AJ.” He continues, “I’ve loved you since last Thanksgiving. I’ve loved you since that night we kissed outside of the subway. I couldn’t get you out of my head. You didn’t want to be with me, that was obvious. What was I supposed to do? Cry at your desk until you decided I was worthy?”

“What? Worthy? C’mon, Pete, that isn’t-”

“You never wanted to hold my hand and God forbid a photo of us was taken. I’m not an idiot.” He pauses, before adding, “I mean, most people think that I’m stupid, I just didn’t think you were one of them.”

“You know I don’t think that!” She cries, punctuating her statement with the sound of her fist hitting the floor.

“I told you I loved you and you told me I was lying.” He shakes his head, trying to escape the memory. “And you just said it again. So…what else should I think?”

Pete rests his hand against the wall, away from her, trying to regain his composure. 

“I’m...Pete, I’m sorry.” Addie stands and places her hand on his shoulder but he shrugs it away. He turns his head slightly, just enough to look in her direction.

“So am I.” She backs away from him.

Addie clears her throat, if for no other reason than to fill the silence. “I don’t think you’re an idiot.” She clarifies. His shoulders slump, and he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Can we not-” He turns to face her, his eyes squeezed shut. She boldly grabs his free hand, tracing one of his tattoos with her fingertip. He opens his eyes and looks to their intertwined hands, then back to her face.

“I didn’t hold your hand because I didn’t want to make things any harder for you than they had to be.” Addie drops his hand and shakes her head, needing a reset. She takes another step back. “Same thing with the pictures. And the paparazzi. And not being your date to the Globes. I...” She shrugs. “I **was** trying to protect you. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t trying to protect myself, too.”

Pete keeps his mouth shut, silently urging her to continue. She exhales.

“When you told me you loved me the night of the Sandler show, I mean...we hadn’t hung out in months. We were standing next to each other for three minutes and you dropped the L word? It was...overwhelming. I was confused and upset and I missed you but I was mad and I just...wasn’t ready to hear that. I’m sorry for the way I reacted and I’m sorry for what I said. It wasn’t fair.” She’s staring at the floor, unable to witness his reaction.

Pete contemplates for a minute. He takes a deep breath. 

“For the record,” he starts, shaky on his own two feet, “you were the next person I said it to.” She looks up at him, confused.

“You said “the next person might take you at your word”. You were the next person.” He offers, motioning in her direction. “Right over there, actually. Like 10 minutes ago.”

Addie sighs and opens her mouth to speak, but loses her train of thought when the wall lights up and the elevator whirs back to life.

The movement of the elevator breaks the bubble they’ve been living in for the last half hour. There are a million more things they want to say to each other, but the sudden jolt of the room has changed the atmosphere. They’re left staring at one other, wordlessly, until the elevator reaches the lobby.

The doors open. A security guard peers in.

“You two alright?” He asks, his arm extended to hold the door.

“Yeah.” Pete answers, stepping out, gazing at Addie as he passes her.

“Fine.” She adds, rubbing her eyes as she exits the elevator.

“Oh my god!” Mary Ellen rushes over, first to Addie and then to Pete, flustered.

“You texted her?” Pete asks, motioning from Addie to Mary Ellen.

“You texted him?” She questions, gesturing to the disheveled John Mulaney approaching them.

“Pete. Pete!” John hugs him and Pete reluctantly accepts, rolling his eyes.

“Only to let him know I was going to be late for dinner.” He mumbles an explanation.

“And that’s when I knew something was wrong because Pete is always late! With **no** text!” John suddenly realizes Addie must have been stuck in the elevator, too, and steps back. “Do you two need a minute?” He asks, pointing back and forth between them.

Mary Ellen looks perplexed. “Everything okay?” She asks, concern evident in her voice.

“Fine.” Pete turns to the exit, urging John to follow. “See you tomorrow.” He calls back over his shoulder, focused on the plans he has with Mulaney and not on the last half hour of his life.

Addie is silent, but her brain is running on overdrive. It feels like everything is happening in slow motion and she can’t focus on anything Mary Ellen is saying to her. With every step Pete takes toward the door, her overwhelming need to stop him heightens.

“...you could have been swiping for dates the whole time you were in that elevator!” Addie catches the end of Mary Ellen’s sentence and squeezes her eyes closed as she shakes her head.

“Pete! Wait.” Her yell catches Pete off guard and he pauses. John turns around to face her. She looks from the two of them to Mary Ellen and back.

“I don’t **want** a dating app.” Addie starts, looking at Mary Ellen first. Pete turns around slightly, his curiosity piqued.

“Okay…” Mary Ellen narrows her eyes.

“And why not?” Mulaney probes, his hands clasped behind his back, a grin plastered on his face, ever the meddler.

Addie turns to Mary Ellen and John.

“Because...Pete.” She stumbles over the words. “I don’t want a dating app because of Pete.”

“Fucking **finally**!” Mary Ellen exclaims, clapping her hands together. 

“What?” Addie questions, utterly confused. Her boss is now high-fiving Mulaney.

“Thank GOD.” John chimes in.

“We’ve all been **waiting** for you guys to just admit it.” She confirms, seemingly giddy at the confession. “We talk about it all the time.”

Addie looks from the celebratory duo to Pete. He’s standing in the same spot as before, his hands tucked in the pockets of his jacket. He’s not giving away anything. She takes a step toward him.

“I think this whole time I’ve been concerned about what other people would think about this.” She starts, gesturing toward John and Mary Ellen. “But the only person I should have been concerned about was you. And how you felt. Because that’s all that matters to me.” She waits. Her head is a mess.

“There’s paparazzi out there.” He motions to the street. “They aren’t going to just disappear. What about that?”

“Do you think they’ll give us a nickname?” She asks, cocking her head to the side, trying to downplay it all, taking another step toward him.

“I’m serious, AJ. This isn’t a joke to me.” He crosses his arms over his chest. He hasn’t moved.

She takes another step and closes the space between them. “Pete,” she places her hand on his forearm, “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get here.”

“Where? The lobby of 30 Rock?” He asks, stone-faced. Addie sighs, knowing she’s going to have to spill her guts.

“You...you were always here. You beat me here by a long shot. I was scared and I wasn’t sure but you were.” She clears her throat and looks away from him.

“So what? Why are you saying all of this now?” He pushes, needing more and not ready for this conversation to end.

“I love you.” Addie whispers as she looks back up to meet his gaze. 

“What was that?” He asks, the beginning of a grin forming on his face. “I couldn’t hear you.”

She sighs and throws her hands up in the air. “I love you, Pete Davidson.”

His grin is undeniable as he scoops her off the ground and she shrieks, caught off guard. Pete buries his face in the crook of her neck.

“I love you, AJ.” He mumbles against her skin. She runs her fingers through his hair as he sets her back down on the ground. She reaches for his hand and runs her thumb over his.

Pete turns to face John, unable to hide his smile. “Hey man, I’ll be back later. To write.”

“I’m stealing your dinner date, Mulaney.” Addie scrunches her nose up. “Sorry.”

“You’re stealing his boyfriend.” Mary Ellen clarifies with a smirk. Pete rolls his eyes.

“Nah, she had him first.” John concedes. Now it’s Addie’s turn to roll her eyes.

“We won’t wait up.” He sighs and ushers Mary Ellen back toward the stairs.

Pete and Addie are left standing in the lobby, their hands intertwined.

“What now?” She asks, gazing up at him, trying to wrap her head around everything that’s happened over the last hour.

“Well, do you wanna makeout, or…?” He cracks a smile and stifles a chuckle. Addie dissolves into laughter.

“I’ll say what I should have said when you asked me before.” She beams as she catches her breath.

“Please kiss me, Pete Davidson.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me FOREVER to give these two the proper ending they deserved. I procrastinated because I didn't want to say goodbye to them but I knew their story was coming to an end. Thank you to everyone who has commented and given kudos and was patient with me!
> 
> This story was originally going to be a one-shot about getting stuck in an elevator with Pete Davidson but a very good friend convinced me to write more about these characters. As I said in the beginning: thank you AMD for being my first reader. <3
> 
> Also: hi Pete Davidson, let's get stuck in an elevator together, kthanks!


End file.
